…actually we might just start with this week.
I find that if I start looking too far ahead (like more than a day or two) I fall into the trap of wishing things away, planning and/or worrying about stuff that probably won’t happen and not appreciating the here and the now. Yes there are lots of things that I am hoping for 2016, but they don’t all have to appear right now.
As a new year dawns, I am feeling a bit out of my comfort zone. It’s normally at this time of the year that I start to plan (code for ‘dread’) going back to school. That has pretty much been the pattern of my whole entire life – going to school, going to uni, and then going and teaching at schools. I haven’t dreaded it each time, but I have definitely had a heavy feeling as most Januarys come to a close. So it’s no wonder that I am tickled pink to be kicking off this year with a new purpose. My new job is looking after our brand spanking small person, so I am thinking of just one child instead of many, and the only other staff member is Bill. I wonder what our playground duty roster will look like!!
So I am excited and yet a tad apprehensive. The year ahead of looking after someone who gives us so much joy is something I can’t really describe. Lenny was a long time coming so I think it is still kicking in that he is actually here. And yet there is a funny feeling, that will no doubt flare up as I see the school buses motoring past our place in a couple of weeks (actually a stack of school buses – their depot is at the end of our street so they’re hard to miss) of thinking ‘So, is this it?’
I have had a few chats with new mothers about this feeling – I’m now a mother, so what does that look like? It is funny to think that I won’t be contributing financially to our household, my diary is pretty much empty (not even sure why I bought one) and my workplace will be our house. I don’t think it hurts to air these feelings. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy – just wondering how it will all pan out. One day at a time is how it will pan out.
So to the year ahead. I have a few different levels of hopes for the year and some are pie in the sky, while others are a bit more realistic…
Why not: Go on a holiday somewhere that involves a passport.
Why not: Get my meditation practice down pat.
On the whole:
I think I can manage to: Keep Lenny alive
I think I can manage to: Be more loving towards the people I love.
Day to day:
It’d be really nice if: I can eat more fruit and veggies than I do processed foods.
It’d be really nice if: I walk every day…at least to the clothesline.
If I could sum up my hopes for 2016 in one word, it’d be ‘HOWEXCITING’