Yes, it’s true that 3 of my friends have all up and left within the space of a month. And I am mourning the loss. I don’t tend have a lot of close friends – it’s a case of quality rather than quantity – so when 3 lovely ladies pack up and leave town, well it’s rough.
One was a predicted move but the other two came out of the blue (for me, not them clearly.) And all I could do when both of these girls told me they were moving was punch them fair in the arm. I am not sure what to make of that reaction but I think a psychologist would say that I was experiencing a sense of loss, betrayal (a bit harsh) and sadness. Well yes, you are right on all counts.
My idea is that life becomes a bit more stable when you hit your 40’s. And people are in for the long haul. Back in the day, of uni and my early teaching jobs, it was the norm for friends & acquaintances to up and leave after a few years. I did it myself. I made sure I didn’t get too attached (see previous comment about quality rather than quantity) and wished everyone well as we headed off on our next adventure. I was always (and still am, sadly) one of those types who promised that I would keep in touch, but I often knew that our best friendship days were over.
There are the odd cases of when I fell into a deep and long lasting friendship, (I can imagine a couple of girlfriends thinking ‘what about me?’) but sadly many have fallen by the wayside. I blame it on my inability to use the phone for actual phone calls – I prefer texting…oh & checking in to see what Sarah Wilson is up to. It’s a shame as I have some long lost acquaintances, that I think of fondly, but just haven’t got the gumption (now there’s a word) to dial their number, even though I’ve had it in my phone since 1999. (I definitely had a blue flip phone in 2000 and boy did I think I was the business. But clearly not enough of the business to use it.)
I will admit that I still have some lovely friends that don’t live in my town of Forbes – but I put that down to their dogged persistence and patience in single handedly pursuing our friendship. I am hoping that the 3 lovely ladies that have left the 2871 postcode will persevere, subtly stalking me in the hope that I might one day return their call.
This moving business also brings up all sorts of emotions, because it is just not easy to move. And I can imagine that it would be even more difficult with small children. The practical aspects of packing and unpacking, selling, cleaning and closing the door on a house full of memories…I’m starting to get teary…are all part of the deal. And what about when you get to a new place? It’s like starting year 7 all over again. It’s lucky that every single one of these 3 friends are some of the kindest and friendliest people going around. Maybe that’s why they moved – to share some of that beautiful spirit with a whole new bunch of people.
So I wish them well, but I also want them to know that it’s not easy for those of us left behind either. We are sad and will miss them terribly.
Oh and I will keep in touch…just call me.